Talk, Talk, Talk

It has been over eight years since I stood up in front of our church and took our wedding vows. Eight years is a pretty long time, but I still remember so much about my wedding day. I can still remember the panic of my sister being half an hour late to pick me up for my hair appointment and the relief of finding her wandering around my apartment complex desperately calling out my name because she didn't know my apartment number (this was before we all had cell phones). I remember the excitement of getting dressed with my bridesmaids and standing with my Dad as we waited to walk down the aisle. I remember the shock and hilarity of seeing my Auntie Bev and Pastor Strand dancing to 'I wanna rock and roll all night' in the middle of the dance floor. I will never forget pacing the floor of our hotel room after the reception waiting to hear word if my Dad and Mother-in-Law were able to recover my backpack, which had my identification in it, from the closed up church, so I would be able to go on our honeymoon early the next morning. I remember the news of Princess Diana being in a fatal car accident. What I don't remember well is our wedding ceremony.

I remember walking down the aisle and my Dad handing me off to Dan, but after that it all becomes a blur. I think the pressure of remembering what to do in front of all our friends and family made me forget most of the ceremony. But one of the parts that I do remember was part of Reverend Strand's message to us. He told us that three of the most important things in a marriage is to 1. Talk, 2. Talk and 3. Talk. He said that studies have shown that married couples talk less and less each year and some end up talking only 20 minutes a day. Since being married I have realized how important communicating and talking really is. And since having kids I have realized how hard talking and communication can be.

Being a mother of two small children I have three opportunities for uninterrupted time during a typical day; before the boys wake up, while the boys are napping and after the boys have gone to bed at night. Trying to get even the simplest thing done while the boys are around can sometimes be near impossible and downright frustrating. I often find myself being bombarded with requests, questions and things to do. Trying to carry on a conversation with kids around is quite laughable. Poor Dan has to suffer through me asking him the same question three times because I either forgot I asked him the question or I was too distracted and didn't hear his answer. Dan and I have learned to wait until the boys are in bed before attempting any serious conversation, but it can be quite hard to limit conversations to certain times.

But now that the boys are getting older and playing with each other (and not constantly at odds) Dan and I are finding more time to engage in uninterrupted conversation. Tonight we actually had a continual conversation throughout our entire dinner, with only minor interruptions from the boys. Although last week as Dan and I enjoyed some time together talking while the boys played upstairs, we found a half naked Daniel staring at a pile of toilet paper and wipes he had put in the toilet in an attempt to get his bottom clean and Sammy standing on the bathroom counter with his hands in the Vaseline jar from the medicine cabinet.

I still haven't decided if the clean up was worth the half hour of uninterrupted conversation with my husband, but I do know that the more you talk and communicate the better off you are.